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On staplers

Anybody who has worked at a public service desk can do two things very well: (1) quickly tell somebody how to get to the bathroom and (2) refill/unjam staplers (at the Library Services Desk, besides answering questions and checking out books, we’re also pretty good at handing out pens and highlighters).

Apparently we’re not as good at providing stapler support as I thought: a few weeks ago, The Bucknellian published a satire piece lambasting us for our egregious dearth of available staples. Our regular Swingline staplers, apparently, were no longer cutting it. They were constantly running out of staples, getting jammed, or getting stolen. With such a dire need on our hands, what were we to do? We did the only thing we could, and we bought the Rolls-Royce of staplers: the Rapid 5080e Professional Electric Stapler. This puppy can staple up to 90 sheets at a time and is guaranteed to last for at least 500,000 staples. Its packaging touts a low noise level (perfect for libraries), and its high-capacity magazine (5,000 staples) ensures that it’ll go a long time without needing to be reloaded.

Not wanting to incite stapler envy, we quietly installed our newest acquisition next to the printers in the Courtyard. I believe our efforts were a rousing success: writers at The Bucknellian took note of the library’s newest feature and took credit for their hard-hitting investigative journalism that brought students what they demanded. Well done!

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